Here’s a little fact about GM that could potentially drive a wedge between you and me: I loathe Madonna. It’s not because I find her offensive. It’s because she’s talentless and annoying. She can’t even fucking sing and somehow, because she twerked before we twerked, she’s a fucking legend. There’s nothing that she’s done that’s entertaining in any way more than a fart joke is or a boob slip. Can’t. Stand. Madonna.
So, you love her. I get it. I mean, hey, the first person to dry hump a dude on stage should get all the accolades Madonna gets, no? That is art beyond art. DaVinci, Monet, Picasso… those fuckers wouldn’t know art if Madonna’s bra poked their eyes with it, right? No, Madonna grabbing her crotch is profound and moving and artistic and just… it’s just… ugh, I can’t even pretend. It’s a gimmick. And most of you fell for it. I’d be willing to bet, if she released her new album under a different name with a picture of some average woman on the artwork, you’d all hate it. But you love Madonna because you’ve seen her vulva. Incredible. It’s one of those things, like the mass love for Jesus, that I just do not and will not ever understand.
So, now that I have sufficiently described my loathing of the creature, I’m here to defend her. I was reading the Christian Post this morning again, because I’m still waiting on you all to stage an intervention, and I found this hate-filled article that I thought I would send through the Godless Mom wood chipper.
The introductory paragraph reads like a fucking exorcism, so you know it’s gonna get better from there. Clearly repressed and hateful Stacey Dames, says,
The pioneer of transgenderism and homosexuality, she [Madonna] paved the way for the lawless artists we see today.
Yes, because there was certainly no homosexuality before Madonna. Certainly not, you know, the Ancient Greeks or anything:
Hey, watch where you’re poking that thing!
Definitely not Ancient Rome:
What, you think the Ancients are irrelevant, in spite of the fact that they are the ones who developed democracy? Okay, how about some more contemporary pioneers of love?
Hey, girl, hey! – Oscar Wilde
Only Liberace could pull off that get up.
No, of course, Madonna was a pioneer of homosexuality…in the 80s, even though she is not homosexual. Got it. What else you got?
However, her central target is Christianity.
Oh, now you’re speaking my language. Maybe I’ll reconsider this whole, can’t-stand-Madonna thing.
Rarely is she without one of her grotesque crucifixes, or twisting Scripture to suit her agenda.
Jesus on Vespa! That sounds like a certain group of people I know! Namely, the Christians. What a fucking coinkidink!
Much ink has been wasted over the years as psychologists, feminists, and others attempt to solve the mystery that is Madonna. It’s not difficult to figure out. Madonna doesn’t have an ego problem; she has a sin problem.
Oh, honey doll, no. It’s called shock-value marketing and you’re feeding the machine. I highly doubt Madonna sits at home by herself and makes obscene gestures at crucifixes and makes out with 8 women and a priest all at once. No, sugar pants, she does that shit on stage because it gets idiots like you to notice and freak out about it. Congratulations. You’re doing Madonna’s marketing for her.
Unrepentant and hardened from sin, no amount of make-up or photo-shop can conceal the evil in her eyes.
Ehh. Okay, you can have that one.
Nor can she stop her indecent exposure tour- publicly undressing
Undressing? Undressing? Are you serious? The nerve of someone to have a naked body! The same body we all have. The same body we all see every day in the mirror and in the shower, and in the bath. The same damned body that not a single human being has not been subject to viewing in all the history of the World. The exact same body that we all were born out of and had our first feedings from. The beautiful, the stunning, the gorgeous female form. HOW. DARE. SHE!
If you’re searching for occult symbolism in her work, you’ll find it everywhere.
Oh, boy! Lock the Church doors! You might want to work on the strength of your faith, and your God’s ability to promote faith, if a few occult symbols on an album the faithful clearly would never buy is going to threaten it. Eeep. Sounds like you got some cracks in your faith there! Need some Christ-o-spackle!
Ensnaring millions into a web of destruction, Madonna is preparing fans for a specific event.
Shit, please tell me she’s not going to ruin another perfectly good Super Bowl.
Using biblical discernment concerning the times in which we live, and her own words, Madonna’s agenda becomes clear. Learn the origin behind her deviant obsessions, and uncover the inspiration behind her best-loved songs. The “light” she sings about is the force driving her one-woman empire, and will soon make an unforgettable appearance on earth. Whether you’re a long-time fan, or haven’t paid attention to her in years, Madonna’s deception is finally unmasked. Is she just a pop star, or an agent of Satan?
So, to recap: Satan is coming and Madonna is facilitating it.
Considering Satan’s about as real as the human body is vulgar, she’s just a fucking pop star. An aging, desperate, talentless pop star whose entire career has been fueled by reactions like yours.
Quit fretting and go buy a Danny Gokey CD. Then maybe take a look at yourself in the mirror and reassess what you think vulgarity is… and if you still think Madonna is vulgar, maybe stop watching her and listening to her and reading about her. I have successfully lived a Madonna-free life for the most part, and so can you.