Hilarious Apocalypse Predictions Part 2

I could write these forever. They are so entertaining. To read the previous predictions in part 1, click here.

Here are some more:

Failed Apocalypse Prediction #9 - Earth Day Pioneer

One of the founders of Earth Day, José Argüelles, predicted the world would come to an end on August 17th, 1987 unless the world came together and meditated by the millions. He wanted 20 million people to meditate across the globe in unison to shift the collective consciousness toward peace. He called for 144,000 people in each “power center,” locations determined to be of spiritual significance, such as mountains and other tranquil or serence places. Believe it or not, this guy was a respected professor and actually taught at Princeton and UC Davis. Sadly, José passed away in 2011, long after his prediction had failed.

Failed Apocalypse Prediction #10 - The Rebbe

Considered one of the most important Jewish leaders of all time, Russian Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson won the Congressional Gold Medal and had his birthday turned into a holiday, Education Day USA. This highly respected man, who was close with some of the most powerful people on the planet, predicted that on September 9th of 1991, the Jewish Messiah would return, and the world as we knew it would come to an end.

Okay. So, maybe this one isn’t so much hilarious as it is terrifying.

Failed Apocalypse Prediction #11 - The Planetary Activation Organization

Mr. Sheldan Nidle, folks.

Sheldan Nidle founded the Ground Crew Project, which morphed into the Planetary Activation Organization. This is an organization that believed that 10,000 aliens would come down to Earth in 1997 and, rather than ending the world completely, they would change it for the better over the course of about 15 years and only end the world as we knew it. Sheldan’s still out there, selling his “galactic” books and claiming we’re all barreling towards some celestial meeting with our “galactic brothers and sisters.” You can check out the PAO website here but be forewarned; only a strong mind can read what is written there and not succumb to the urge to devote one’s life to this cult. Please, have tin foil hat readied.

Click here for more info from a skeptical perspective.

Oh, and in case you need more, fret not, friend. Sheldan has a Youtube Channel:

Failed Apocalypse Prediction #12 - God is Taiwanese

In March of 1998, Hon-Ming Chen predicted that God would appear on every American’s television set. Apparently, God had a brunch date with Earth and was said to be arriving at precisely 10 am when he would conveniently look just like Hon-Ming Chen. Chen, the True Way Cult founder, had predicted previously that an American Jesus would come forward and look just like Abe Lincoln. The cult also claimed to have two children amongst them, who were the reincarnations of Jesus and the Buddha. Later, another prophecy foretold the arrival of God in a “God plane” in 1991 to rescue only the cult members after a nuclear war between Taiwan and China wiped out most of Earth.

Failed Apocalypse Prediction #13 - Ra-Ra-Rasputin, Lover of the Russian Queen

Rasputin, well known for his role as healer, general doer of things, spiritual guide, and die-hard in the last Tsar’s life, had his own end-of-the-world prediction. This man’s God-given abilities to heal hemophilia, control the monarchy like puppets, peel panties, and have a general immunity to death were not all he could do, it appears. He claimed to have been privy to the info that on August 23rd, 2013, a storm would rage, ending all life on Earth and prompting Jesus’ return. Considering they didn’t find Rasputin’s charge, the little hemophiliac Alexei’s body until 2007, during those 89 years, many thought the boy had survived the firing squad that claimed the rest of his family. They believed Rasputin really did have mystical powers and could heal the Tsarevich’s bleeding issues, and maybe that meant his prediction would come true. Alas, Jesus did not show up in 2013, and life on earth is still going.

Did I miss a particularly amusing end-of-the-world prediction? Let me know in the comments!

#apocalypse