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Writer's pictureCourtney Heard

Your Stories Of Atheism: Slapping, Santa & Serial Killers

This is an ongoing series featuring your stories of how you came to identify as an atheist. If you want to send me your story, you can submit it here. To read past stories, click here.


Our first story this week comes from Rob:


Second Grade Belief in God

Next, we have a story from Gusto:

Raised (Irish) Catholic. Altar boy till age 18. Even played Jesus in Godspell for Chrissakes. Oh the priests wanted me, and my Dad joined in the conspiracy. I dodged priesthood but kept up a nominal belief without much examination for many years, attending Mass sporadically. Only when I began studying cults (Mormonism, Scientology) and reveling in their ridiculousness did the lightbulb go on: this is BS, but so is every other religion. So embarrassed that I didn’t ‘to realize this till I was 47 years old. What a waste. By the way, I never believed in heaven. & hell , even when I was nominally Catholic. I’m not that naive.

And finally, a story from Chad:

I grew up in a semi-devout Catholic household outside of K.C., Missouri. I remember at a young age making the connection between Santa Claus and god. I always felt guilty going to school after xmas and learning that santa didn’t visit some kids. I knew these kids were good, no worse than me anyway, and I knew of some “bad” kids that santa would go all out for. Why did santa neglect certain kids and spoil the hell out of others? I also remember feeling the same guilt for the countless number of people in the world less fortunate than me. We weren’t wealthy, we were lower middle class. But we didn’t go without and we were a healthy, happy family. Why was I “blessed” with these circumstances while so many others dealt with pain, suffering, famine, disease, etc? How could a loving and just santa or god forget about so many people. What the hell made me so special? The connection became even more complete once I learned santa wasn’t real. I also remember, at a young age, watching a documentary about serial killers on like 60 minutes or 20/20. They sought to find what makes a serial killer behave the way they do. so they studied the MRI images of like 4 or 5 serial killer’s brains and found that they all shared something in common. The part of the brain that controls empathy and compassion was very underdeveloped while the part of the brain that controls anger and aggression was larger than the normal persons brain, so theres the “nature” part. And for the “nurture” part most of these serial killers grew up in an abusive unstable household, where they weren’t shown love and compassion, but hostility and negative emotions. So, right out of the gate you have someone wired to be aggressive and angry and not feel bad about it. Then, they grow up in a household where they get beat or abused. . Now, what do you think that person will become. I wondered, with these unfair disadvantages, how do these people even have a chance? Furthermore, if god made them this way, how can they be judged on the same bar as someone like myself who is “normal” From then on I refused to believe in a hell where god would design someone to be this way and then condemn them to an eternity in hell.
USA christian nation

Be sure to leave these guys some comments! Thank you all for taking the time to send me your stories.

If you want to send me your story, you can submit it here. To read past stories, click here.

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