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  • Writer's pictureCourtney Heard

Witness To Hate: God Loves Transphobia

If there’s one thing I am sure of about God, it’s that the fucker can’t get his mind off the D. He just cannot stay outta your pants whether you’re gay, trans or just some straight lady who loves to bone. He is obsessed with genitals and I really don’t understand it. I mean, I love to engage in relations as much as the next soccer mom but let’s face it, our uglies be called ugly ’cause they’s fuckin’ ugly.

Who am I to judge though, really? The dude fucking created the skin flute and the bearded clam, so they must have some aesthetic appeal to him right? Whatever the reason is though, God just can’t get his mind out the gutter. That is for sure.

It’s pretty clear he’s passed his obsession on to his devout armies of jeebots because they are all so perfectly willing to spew about it without a second thought as to what it says about them. Take this post for example: You are born a man or a woman. You don’t get to choose by Matt Walsh.

Arnold Horshack

Ooh! Ooh! Mr. Kotter!

Matt Walsh says,

 Maybe I’m a jerk for picking such a provocative title, or maybe this country is doomed because an utterly self-evident statement of the obvious has become provocative.

Oooh! Oooh! Mr. Kahhterrre! It’s the first option! You’re a jerk!

I want to begin by telling you about a grown adult male who, last week, beat a woman to a bloody pulp in front of a cheering crowd. As he gloated about his physical dominance over this outmatched female, media outlets and advocacy groups hailed him as a pioneer. In fact, beating up women is literally this dude’s job. His latest victim ended up with a concussion, a broken orbital socket, and several staples in her head. Yet, still, the man who stomps women and brags about it on Twitter, is, according to our progressive cultural ringleaders, a hero. Well, our hero, Boyd Burton (alias “Fallon Fox”) went overseas and had his penis chopped off, then came back and became a “transgender female” MMA fighter. Don’t you see? It’s OK for him to break a woman’s face because he likes to pretend he is one.

I see that you obtained your deductive reasoning from the back of a can of spray cheese: it’s made of fucking fart dust and fairy wings and has no business in anyone’s body but Ken Ham because he’s already so full of shit it’d hardly make a difference.

Adult consent is adult consent! It’s not okay for Fallon Fox to break a woman’s face anywhere outside of the ring. I am no fan of any of the fighty beaty sports because Mommy is a peace-loving, non-violent hippie and seeing people get hurt makes me lose my lunch, but it’s still a sport. People go into it willingly. It’s not as though the women go into the fight with Fallon completely unaware of the fact that a) they are about to engage in a physical altercation that will likely end in serious injury and b) that Fallon was born male. Fallon’s opponents are willing participants and have given their consent before they step into the ring.

Unless… maybe you’re suggesting women are too stupid to make their own decisions? Is that what you’re saying, Don Juan? You fucking sweet talker, you…

Do you understand how this work? It’s cool to pound your fists into a woman’s cranium as long as you feel like a woman while you’re doing it.

I’ll leave your caveman grammar alone and just say, no, it’s not cool to do that and that’s not what’s happening. It’s a perfectly fucking legal regulated sport, with refereed matches and all sorts of legal paperwork to be filled out beforehand. This isn’t a goddamned bar fight, no holy.

Sure, it should come as no surprise to anyone that progressive ‘gender theory’ is a perverse, morally bankrupt, backwards, maniacal force of destruction.

Oh but it does and it should come as a surprise that even the least intelligent of our species – and I’m lookin’ right at ya Matty – thinks this way, because I’ve yet to hear any reason why. You know, that doesn’t include God, who we’ve already established, is unhealthily obsessed with the contents of our panties.

Please, tell me why progressive gender theory is a perverse, morally bankrupt, backwards, maniacal force of destruction, Mr. Hate-nado. Give me one good reason that is not God.

Yes, we should deal with ISIS and illegal immigration and the economy and politics and all the rest of it, but sooner or later, sane, rational, clear thinking individuals have to wake up and smell the radical psychosexual indoctrination. It isn’t blowing up buildings or taking your job, but it’s eating away at the intellectual and moral fabric of our society. It’s driving people insane and blinding us to the basic realities of human nature.

You keep telling us this, but have yet to give us an example of how transgendered people have somehow led to the erosion of morality in our society. In spite of your insistence this is the case, the stats call you a liar: crime continues to decrease, instances of child abuse and molestation are down (‘cept in the ol’ church, of course), abductions are down, murder, theft, incarceration… it’s all decreasing. But the moral fibres of our society are becoming weaker? Yeah. Not so much. Good try though, scatman. With your aim, you should consider quarterbacking for the Browns.

We have to understand that no existential threat matters if our civilization collapses in on itself before one of those distant boogeymen gets the pleasure of annihilating it.

Laces out, Matty.

Like, I literally don’t even know what that means. Someone forgot to take his Thorazine.

I often feel like we are perched on the precipice of a giant black hole, and as we dissolve rapidly into it, the sentries scream from their towers that an asteroid is heading this way and it could kill everyone sometime around the year 2067.

Yeah, seriously, probs shoulda just grabbed that Thorazine before you headed out the door this morning. If you seriously think we’re on the “verge of a blackhole” because someone has an operation to change his or her genitals to reflect how they feel inside, you’re in very serious psychological trouble and I would seek help before you find yourself being protected from gen pop with your luscious cellmate Trixie at San Quentin.

The point is, millions of Americans have lost their grip on reality.

Oh, so now we’re getting autobiographical. Hey at least you’re dealing in truths, now.

What were once the fringe ramblings of leftist feminists and homosexual militants are now mainstream doctrines.

Right, it’s so mainstream that homosexuals don’t have to fear violence anymore. Certainly not like these guys: Gay Couple Speaks Out After Brutal Assault in Center City. It’s so mainstream that trans people don’t have to fear the same. Not like this guy: Transgender Man Attacked in Montrose Wants Hate Crime Charges. It’s so mainstream that there is absolutely no discrimination anymore against homosexuals. Not like this story: Christian Groups Beg Public Universities to Subsidize Their Anti-Gay Discrimination. It is certainly mainstream enough to have eliminated discrimination against transgender people. Not like this: Transgender woman says community faces employment discrimination.

Nope, it’s perfectly mainstream and acceptable, now.

Emotion reigns supreme. Our feelings have the power to shift the cosmos and turn what is into what isn’t and what isn’t into what is.

Wait, you mean like how you change reality to cling to the faith that there is a god, in spite of increasing evidence to the contrary?

Matt goes on to explain how uncomfortable he is about total strangers he’s never met going through a transition and still taking on roles of their previous gender as though somehow his concern doesn’t highlight the fact that he, like his God, is obsessed with dicks and vaginas and what everyone else does with them. It is most likely borne of Christian guilt for feeling sexual desire, tickling your own trunk, or getting pleasure from knockin’ boots. God says he’s a very bad boy and in his overwhelming guilt, he must project his disappointment in himself on other people. Like I said, fucktank: thorazine.

He ends by saying,

RESEARCH? No, no I certainly will not.

Like a good little Jeebot.

There’s not a whole lot I am 100% sure of, but something I am, is the fact that other people’s business, especially when it comes to their genitalia and how they feel inside, is their goddamned business. In fact, I believe it was in kindergarten I learned this rule: MYOB. It ain’t your shit, fucknugget, so quit carrying it around like it is.


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