Ladies and gentlemen, boys and ribs, I’ve gone intertube mining and dug up some gold. His name is Dr. Bobby Conway! He is the most super cool guy of super cool guy land, the most dreamiest doctor dedicated to devotion, and a hipster on the highway to heaven. He is here to rescue your soul from the prying grasp of beelzebub, paint it all the colours in Pottery Barn and send it barreling into the open and waiting arms of He-Be-Jeeby himself.
Which could just as easily describe a multicoloured shart. Budanyway.
Dr. Bobby Conway, it seems, spent most of his life as a heathen, balls deep in sin. At 19, with the help of a friend though, he crawled up into Jeeby’s heart and made residence.
Bobby-Con went on to study theology and apologetics and, as it says in his bio “Bobby is currently praying about entering a PhD program in Philosophy of Religion“. Hence DR. Bobby Conway. It is a prayer-bestowed title. Yes, I said prayer. Prayer.
I don’t even have to make fun of this guy, do I?
But you know Godless Mom is gonna.
This Easter treat went on to become lead pastor at Life Fellowship, and in what appears to be an extremely strained attempt to bring cool back to Sunday school, started the One Minute Apologist YouTube channel. Which features 2-3 minute videos on horseshit.
One Minute Apologist.
2-3 minute videos.
Luckily for the Faithful-Fonzie, I don’t think math is a requirement for a Philosophy of Religion degree based on a wish.
But seriously, just check out all the super cool guy cool stuff he has in his arsenal:
First, we have the super cool guy retro mic:
Telling lies never looked so good.
Then he takes a page out of Godless Mom’s book with the super cool guy specs:
But never mind that these, along with the 5 o’clock shadow, make up his 3 pronged offensive to appeal to a younger crowd. Let’s take a listen to what he has to say,
Just look into his blissed-out grin and hear his creamy voice attempt to lull you in a catatonic state of pure, unquestioning agreement as he insists that it’s ok to be stuck in sin, so long as we keep running towards god.
I picture all the jeebots watching him talk, react to that like this:
Running to God.
Jeebot without a cause doesn’t just know how to overcome sin though, he’s also a palaeontologist :
and so much more. And the best part of his whole channel is,
No need for comments, they can all be answered in the Bible.
Also not required for a make-believe PhD: the ability to debate.