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  • Writer's pictureCourtney Heard

Listen to Jesus – Don’t Read Books, Don’t Watch TV, Just Listen

Happy Hump Day, Heathens!

I am a YouTube junkie.

It’s true. I love the fact that every day, regular people can publish intelligent video content and have an audience without having to go through a bunch of old, rotting execs at Fox or something.

The downside is, of course, anyone can publish content, intelligent or not. Content which I, being the aforementioned YouTube junkie that I am, sometimes end up watching. I do it with full knowledge of the torture I’m about to put myself through. I can’t explain why. I guess it’s like the whole staring-at-an-accident thing. It’s just so awful, I can’t look away.

So, I came across this gem today.

And by gem, of course, I mean a raging pile of utter nonsense.

Gimme a sec, I’m still trying to shake the echoing nonsense in my head.

Robert Downy Jr. is irritated.

Tell it like it is, Bobby D.

Now that I’ve suffered, I’m going to make you suffer, too. You can thank me later. For now, watch:



I’m listening. I don’t hear anything. Maybe Jesus is about to get a high score on Temple Run.

For all its faults, this video does answer a lot of questions. For example, why don’t religious fundamentalists do more critical thinking? Now we know. They’re listening. They don’t read books, not even the bible. They are just… listening.

And focusing. On Jesus.

I like to think of myself as a smart woman. I mean, I’m no rocket scientist, but I can find my way around a library. Even with the smarts I like to think I have though, I cannot, for the life of me, figure out what it means in the physical world to focus on Jesus.

Do I just print out my favourite picture of him and stare? Forever?

Focus on Jesus
Focus on Jesus

Nothing is happening. Maybe he’s playing Candy Crush.

What happens if I have to pee? Do I get a time out? Is there a set number of time-outs I can burn through like the Cleveland Browns in the preseason?

What do I do with my bible if I’m not to read it? Why are there words printed in it if it’s not for reading?

If Jesus is alive, is he just a boss at hide and seek and it's been our turn to seek for 2000 years?

He is alive but we still must believe in him. See, I’m not so sure Santadowner here understands what “alive” means. I am alive. My son is looking at me right now. He doesn’t need to believe I am alive because he sees it. He knows I am alive. See what I mean? The dots just aren’t connecting.

They are indeed sheep. I’ll give him that.

I’d love to know if this video raised or answered any questions for you. Let me know. I’ll be over here staring at my favourite Jesus pic, listening, sure I won’t hear anything more than dog farts.

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