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  • Writer's pictureCourtney Heard

Atheist Life Hacks: How To Have Too Many Guilty Pleasures

Recently, I’ve been getting a lot of incredible compliments about my blog, my writing and everything else that I do as Godless Mom. I can’t even begin to express to you people what they all mean to me… writing is my passion and to have total strangers tell me daily how much they love mine, is indescribable.

I’ve seen a lot of people let their head inflate though, even over just one or two nice comments and I hate that bullshit. People who take themselves too seriously are dull and boring. So, in light of these wonderful compliments I’ve gotten, I think it’s high time we made some fun of Godless Mom.

I am prepared to give you a large amount of fodder today. Here are my 12 most guilty pleasures:

Vanilla Ice

If there was a problem, yo, I’ll solve it.

1. I was a massive Vanilla Ice fan as a teen. My room was plastered with his posters and I mastered all of his super-vanilla dance moves. I can still do them, and recite Ice Ice Baby by heart.

2. I love Project Runway and Tim Gunn and I fucking make it work every day of my goddamned life, no holy.

3. I loved reading the Da Vinci Code and Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. I got sick of his MO pretty fucking quick after two books though. Find a new plot, cocklocker!

4. Jenna Marbles – this girl has a similar sense of humour to my own and I can usually be found on the floor in tears clutching my tummy when I watch her videos.

5. Reddit – Yeah, you know, I guess I just really like being called a douchebag every 30 mins and having everything I create or say downvoted into oblivion. This cluster of the world’s biggest assholes is somehow soothingly homey to me. I just keep going back for more.

6. Nirvana. In my late teens, I was obsessed with Kurt Cobain and even made the pilgrimage to Seattle to see his house and carve my name in the bench outside of it. “Courtney” was carved about a million times on that bench already, though.

7. Jimmy Eat World. Are you listening? Woaaaaaaooooooooaaaooooooooh. Yeah.

Tyra Banks

The horror… the horror…

8. America’s Next Top Model. No, but let me explain. I love the photography and makeup artistry. My favourite part of the show is when they reveal the photographs. I am always so amazed how different they look, like completely different people. A true art form. I love it. Couldn’t give two shits who goes home.

9. Horror flicks – the cheesier the better. My stepdaughter and I line ’em up on Friday nights when she’s here, and we stay up until 3am watching horrible, horrible movies and making fun of them. I don’t think there are any I have not seen.

10. McDonald’s fries. They’re clearly made out of rainbows and orgasms, because dayam. Now I’m hungry.

11. Nails. I paint my nails too much, and I spend too much time on them. Just look at my creations: #gallery-1 { margin: auto; } #gallery-1 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 33%; } #gallery-1 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-1 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */

12. Bacon. I put that shit on everything. Hamburgers, sandwiches, prime rib, pancakes, my pillow for a midnight snack… you name it, I put bacon on it.

So, what are your guilty pleasures? Let me know in the comments!

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