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"Sharp, funny,

and brutally honest."

"Sharp, funny,

and brutally honest."

How Do Atheists Explain Anything?

  • Writer: Courtney Heard
    Courtney Heard
  • May 2, 2017
  • 3 min read

Updated: Aug 22, 2020

In my head right now, I have that insipid line from Rebecca Blackโ€™s glossolalia episode, Friday. You know the line. Itโ€™s goddamnedย poetry:


โ€œFun, fun, fun, funโ€ฆโ€


Iโ€™ve got this line in my head, because nothing is more fun than when theists demand an explanation for the unexplained or the insufficiently explained phenomena that saturates our world, and thatโ€™s whatโ€™s on my mind.


Youโ€™ve heard the questions before:


โ€œAsย an atheist, how to do you explain consciousness?โ€


โ€œAs an atheist, how do you explain miracles?โ€


โ€œAs an atheist, how do you explain thoughts?โ€


โ€œAs an atheist, how do you explain all these amazing coincidences I experienced with no witnesses?โ€


You see? So much fun.


Fun, fun, fun...

Fun, fun, funโ€ฆ


I think the absolute saddest thing about these questions โ€“ weโ€™re talking a level of sadness that compares to Johnny Footballโ€™s pro career โ€“ is that with just one moment of reflection, youโ€™ll see the flaw in them pretty quick. Asking said questions, is, for the theist, a willingย admission that they believe that in the current moment in our unfolding history, we should be able to explain everything.


Not some things.


Not most things.


Everything.


Imagine that. Seriously, just for a moment, imagine living as though there is no mystery left in our cosmos. Imagine living as though weย know the answer to everything and thereโ€™s nothing more to learn or explore. No more frontiers, no more breakthroughs, no more mind-bendingย discoveries. I donโ€™t know about you friendly folks, but to me, that worldview is devastatingly empty.

I mean, think about it: If we, collectively, know everything already then this is the best weโ€™re ever going to do. The state of the world right now is the best it will ever be. There will never be any new understandings that will allowย us to cure the worldโ€™s many woes. There will be no further tech to help us help each other. No new medical breakthroughs, no new clean energy sources, no new ways to feed our growing human population and overcome famine. ย How completely devoid of hope that idea is. That worldview is so bleak and depressing, I donโ€™t know how anyone who actually believes thisย can even begin to cope with it.


The theist who asks this question, of course, doesnโ€™t really realizeย that this is what he is saying when he poses this question. He also doesnโ€™t realize that heโ€™s trying to assert that the only way he, himself, can be stumped about anything, is if something magical was the explanation. Instead, heโ€™s caught up in vacuous gotchas. What he thinks he is so cleverly pointingย out is that in an atheistic worldview some things cannot be explained, therefore saidย things must be attributed to god.


Because what else, amirite? ย What else could possibly be the source of consciousness, thoughts and coincidences? You canโ€™t explain it, so itโ€™s gotta be Jeeby.


The goal of the believer here is to have the atheist suddenly realize that without god, there are some things we canโ€™t explain. What the theist has not prepared for is that atheists donโ€™t mind not knowing things. Atheists are okay with admitting there are gaps in our knowledge. Atheists donโ€™t need to fill those gaps with illogical nonsense and magic creatures from the great beyond. Why? Because most atheists prefer the feeling of hope, wonder and mystery that occupies those gaps.


Ball of the gaps

โ€œYou canโ€™t explain, so my hypothesis must be correct!โ€


Asking, โ€œas an atheist, how do you explainโ€ฆโ€ in any form, is intellectually lazy because, with just a momentโ€™s thought, even the most devout theist can see the flaws. Itโ€™s an indicationย that the asker has not questioned anything to do with their own beliefs really โ€“ theyโ€™ve not thought them through on any real, meaningful level.


In reality, we will never be able to explain everything โ€“ the atheist has come to terms with that and the sort of theist who poses these questions has not. Itโ€™s sad because saying โ€œI donโ€™t knowโ€ can be freeing and it opens up a path to discovery. If you admit you donโ€™t know, you can still seek the answers. If you admit today that you donโ€™t know, perhaps one day you will know.


Whatโ€™s the most absurd form of the โ€œas an atheist, how do you explainโ€ฆโ€ question youโ€™ve ever heard? Let me know in the comments!


If you like what I do here and want to support my work, you can chip inย hereย or become a memberย here.


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