Every Atheist Does Not Need: The City Of Angels
- Courtney Heard

- Sep 21, 2016
- 3 min read
Updated: Sep 2, 2020
I came home from Los Angeles on Sunday. Itโs taken me until Wednesday to be able to talk about it. I feel like Iโve been soul-raped, even though I donโt believe in a soul, nor its susceptibility to any sort of violent crime. Iโm going to be honest with you LA-dwellers: what in the good goddamned fuck?
How. Do you. Get anything. The fuck. Done?
Iโve been to Los Angeles many times in my life. Iโve driven in it, around it and through it and each time I think to myself, why didnโt I learn last time? The last time I was there, it was 2007. I had a severe ear infection, for which I had to see American docs. I learned that American doctors like to hand out narcotics like theyโre candy, so I was pretty fucking high the entire time I was in Los Angeles. I guess gobbling vicodin like popcorn made everything look rosy and palatable. I donโt recall the traffic in LA, because I was stoned out of my heathen gourd.
This time, it all came rushing back to me. There was that trip in 1999 where I sobbed behind the wheel of my 1991 golden Ford Taurus on the I5 North because I had been in the very same spot for nearly six hours and the only people around me were enraged Americans I imagined all had guns in their glove boxes. There was the year I went with my parents and their transmission dropped out in the middle of traffic in Pasadena on a Sunday morning, when all the tow truck drivers and mechanics were all at mass en la iglesia. There was the year we almost missed my cousinโs wedding because the act of yielding in Los Angeles, apparently, is an admission of weakness. I donโt live in L.A., but Iโve probably spent a good fraction of my life in L.A. traffic.
This past trip, Iโd estimate, was at least 60% traffic. I really wish I was exaggerating. I really do, butย Iโm not. We spent most of the trip in the car reading license plates. It took just one day before my lovely, polite, quiet stepdaughter who was visiting L.A. for the first time in her life, exclaimed, exasperated,
โWhy do people live here?โ
I had no answer for her. The freeways, where L.A. residents appeared to spend most of their time, were lined with trash. It wasnโt even pretty to look at. All we could see was a congested trash pile dotted with pretty palms like lipstick on a pig. Why, indeed, do people live there?
Are you aware there are places in this world to live with affordable costs of living, job opportunities and very little traffic? Didnโt anyone tell you that these places are not mythical? They exist and you donโt have to waste more than half of your fucking life looking at coke-soaked Carlโs Jr. bags blowing in the Santa Anas alongside the eleventh lane of standstill traffic in which youโve sat for the past two hours? What the fuck, people? What the actual goddamned gridlocked fuck?
Here are a few of the questions that came up in our car as we sat, dead still, in the middle of an endless sea of cars,
โAre people actually expected to work a full eight hour day, here?โ
โDo they just go to bed at 2am and get up at 3am?โ
โHow do these people have time to sleep or enjoy life?โ
โAre they not aware there is another way to live?โ
I donโt know what it is, thatโs got millions of people convinced there is no better way. It felt like the entire metropolitan center suffers from a cognitive dissonance more powerful than that of people who believe in the transubstantiation of wafers to Christ. Itโs sad, a little terrifying and a ton frustrating. I love some of the things you have to offer, L.A., but Iโm afraid next time we take the kids to Disney, itโll be Disney Paris. I got my Grimes/Dixon 2016 shirt at Universal, and thatโs where my love/hate relationship with the city of Angels will come to a long-awaited end.
Goodbye, L.A. you evil mistress of illusion. Iโve finally learned my lesson.
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